I’ll never see that client again!
Clients can irritate you for many reasons. Not all of them warrant an immediate “Get off
my table NOW!” response.
If a client is blatantly sexual or leading you into illegal or
unethical behavior, then not seeing that client again is an easy decision. There
are some boundaries that a professional and ethical massage therapist simply
won’t let a client cross.
But what about the more common
boundary crossing that clients engage in?
1) Arriving late or not showing up for appointments
2) Booking a relaxation massage and requesting deep tissue once
they’re on your table
3) Trying to learn personal information about you
Let’s discuss these boundaries in more detail.
1) Arriving late or not showing up for
appointments
This causes an enormous amount of stress for many massage
therapists. On your busy days you often
find yourself booked back-to-back, or possibly with a short break scheduled
between appointments. If a client shows
up late, there can be pressure to give them their full time on the table, which
can eat into your personal time. There
can also be pressure to charge them for only the time you actually massaged
them—perhaps 30 minutes instead of the full 60-minute massage. If this happens a lot it can lead to
resentment towards that specific client, which eventually may lead to
resentment of all clients, which leads to resentment of your profession.
There is a very good reason for the high burnout rate among massage
therapists. Working too much or too
often with poor body mechanics leads to physical burnout. Meanwhile, the resentment and stress which
occur when boundaries aren’t firmly maintained lead to emotional burnout for many
therapists. Most people become massage
therapists to help others. They have a
high amount of compassion towards their fellow human beings. But resentment and stress can whittle away
the compassion you started off with.
Why do massage therapists put up
with these boundary crossers?
I think there are two primary reasons these clients are not fired or
at least induced to modify their behavior through strict boundary setting.
1) Fear.
Fear that you will lose the money this client represents and not be able
to replace it with a new, possibly better client. This is common in any business, but more so
amongst massage therapists. The only way
to get over this fear is to face it.
Experienced therapists have found there are always more clients out
there. If you learn from your mistakes
and set firm boundaries, you will not only find a new client, you will find a
better client.
2) Guilt.
Guilt at charging for your services.
Many massage therapists got into the field to help people. They often began their careers massaging
their family members and friends.
Massage was for fun. Massages can
cost anywhere from $40 to $200 for a one-hour treatment. That can be a lot of money for the average
person. When a client shows up late for
an appointment and you charge them for an hour when they only received 30
minutes of massage, this can lead to feelings of guilt. The key to avoiding this guilt is realizing
you are a professional. You offer your
time as well as a service. If your time
is booked, it is the responsibility of the client to show up and make use of it.
How to fix the problem at its core:
People over-schedule themselves.
They fill their days with more than they can handle. They forget to factor in traffic delays when
traveling somewhere. Their child gets
sick and they forget their appointment.
Life is inherently chaotic, but you can take a few steps to make sure
yours isn’t any more chaotic than it has to be.
1) Set boundaries early. Trying to set a boundary after a certain
behavior has been going on for a long time is difficult and can lead to losing
a client (although this isn’t always a bad thing). The trick to avoiding feelings of guilt when
setting boundaries is to set them early.
Having a clear office policy that every new client must read and sign
helps to establish the responsibilities of the client and the therapist.
Some common late or
no-show policies are:
No-Show:
·
1st offense – warning
·
2nd offense – half payment
·
3rd & future offenses – full
payment
*Some may say, “Just
fire the client”. You can definitely do
that if their not showing up causes you undue stress. But if the client is fine with paying the
full price for their massage and you are not stressed when it happens, then there
doesn’t seem to be a need to fire the client.
Your boundaries have been established, and the client respects them and
understands that they are paying for your time as well as the massage.
Late Arrival:
The client pays the
full price of the scheduled appointment but only receives whatever time is left
in the scheduled time slot. Some
therapists will give the client the full amount of scheduled time on the table
if they don’t have anyone else scheduled directly afterward.
The important thing
to remember is that every situation is different. Your policies are not made to be set in
stone. If someone is coming to your
office for pregnancy massage and ends up missing an appointment because she went
into labor the night before, would you feel comfortable charging her for the
missed appointment? I wouldn’t.
2) Remember, you are a professional and there
are plenty of clients.
Professionals charge
for their services. You are a
professional. Your time is valuable to
you and your clients. Setting and
sticking to boundaries will help ensure you are treated as a professional. Remember, your clients value your
services. They are willing to pay you
for your massage.
Keeping in mind that
there are plenty of clients out there can help you to be firm with your
boundaries. Oftentimes fear will stop a
massage therapist from firing a client, fear of not replacing the money that
client represents. Only experience
facing this fear will prove to you that there are plenty of clients out
there. Once you fire a “bad” client, you
open up the opportunity for a “good” client to fill that space.
2) Booking a relaxation massage and
requesting deep tissue once they’re on your table
If you have different rates for relaxation and deep tissue massages
you may encounter this type of boundary crosser. This is not inherently a problem. It can be an opportunity to upsell the client
to the more expensive service. The
problem is when the client doesn’t want to pay the upcharge or promises you a
bigger tip for not charging them the difference.
If a client gets on your table and realizes they need more specific
work than they thought, that’s good.
They’re in tune with their body and want to make some more positive
changes in it. This is your opportunity
to tell them that you can provide a deep tissue massage, it’s “X” amount more,
and that amount will be added on to the bill.
If they have no problem with this, great!
Some clients will try this repeatedly, hoping to find a therapist who just
does the deep tissue massage instead of confronting them about payment. This all goes back to many therapists’
feelings of guilt about charging for what they do. Being firm but respectful with these clients
will allow you to solve the problem right away.
If the client is upset by your unwillingness to cross your boundary, you
can simply end the massage. Of course
this will be uncomfortable at the time, but ultimately, saying no to someone
trying to cross your boundaries will leave you feeling better about your
personal and professional life.
If you are an employee of a bigger spa, it can be awkward and tempting
if the client offers you a bigger tip on the condition you don’t have them
charged for the more expensive service. You
may want to supplement your own income rather than having the corporate machine
reap the profits.
This is an excellent opportunity to flex your professional ethical
muscles:
1, 2 & 3, there you go, flex
those ethical muscles! You ultimately
get more out of your professional life by providing quality care to your
clients and being respectful of your employer as well as yourself and other
clients.
3) Trying to learn personal
information about you
Oftentimes a client will ask questions about your personal life. This isn’t always a “creepy” or “bad” thing,
at least from the client’s perspective.
They find themselves in a vulnerable position and are seeking comfort in
the form of understanding the person who has power over them. This is a very common occurrence. Some therapists don’t mind and some
therapists find these questions disturbing.
Setting your boundaries in regard to personal questions can seem
difficult. First you have to ask
yourself why you want to stop the client from asking personal questions. Once you understand your motivations you can
begin gently encouraging the client to focus on their breathing, reminding them
why they are on your table. Their
session is for them. Whether they are on
your massage table for pain relief or relaxation, they should focus on being
present in their bodies. This is easily
accomplished through focused breathing.
Many clients will talk to their massage therapist as a way to distract
themselves from being present in their body.
Sometimes it can be scary to be present with yourself. Keep that in mind when encouraging your
clients to focus on being present with themselves rather than on you.
Oftentimes this behavior is about the
psychological phenomenon of
transference. Massage therapists find
themselves in a position of power over their clients. You may not want that power, but you have
it. The client may transfer feelings about
powerful figures in their lives (such as parents, spouses, and doctors) to
you. It is your responsibility as a
professional to recognize transference when it occurs and deal with it
appropriately. It can be flattering to
have the conversation be about you, and even feel good to know your client is
interested in you personally and not just your massage. It is vital to maintain your professional
ethics and remind the client that the massage is about them, not you. You are the one in control of the session, so
it is up to you to compensate if transference seems to be happening.
The important thing you should take away from this article is
prevention. The most important aspect of
setting boundaries is doing so in the beginning of any professional
relationship. Laying out expected behaviors
and outcomes can take much of the stress surrounding boundary crossing out of
the equation.
Remember, there are plenty of clients out there! Don’t let fear of losing a client stop you
from creating a practice filled with good, boundary abiding clients. Ultimately you are in control.
Many states have
Ethics,
including Roles & Boundaries, as a CEU requirement for massage
therapists. This course can be done
online
and serves as an excellent guide for helping therapists deal with ethical
situations, including boundaries.
Another great resource for helping you handle ethical and boundary
dilemmas with clients is other massage therapists. Discussing concerns with your fellow massage
therapists helps you work out your ethical and boundary related problems in a
comfortable, judgment-free atmosphere.
It also helps you bond with your colleagues. Massage can sometimes leave you feeling
isolated. It is important to meet with
your fellow therapists to bond and experience being part of a group.
Hope you have a great
day!
Michael Ames
LMT, CE Provider
407-913-9755
NCBTMB PROVIDER # 451911-12
FLORIDA PROVIDER # 50-13930
